Discourses From the East
নিষিদ্ধ আহাৰ was originally written by Rama Das (ৰমা দাশ). Translated by Sneha Khaund.
I was born in a remote village. My father was a Vaishnavite priest. There was no question of cooking or consuming meat in our household. Even then, for reasons I don’t fully understand, I had a weakness for the thing since I was a young child.
After completing middle school in the village, I set out to study further in Guwahati. The weakness that I had to hide while living in my father’s house assumed a monstrous life in the free air of the city. As the days passed I developed a reputation at my high school hostel for being a voracious carnivore. There was always a stove below my cot, along with a few potatoes and onions. Initially I started with pigeon. Then I progressed to buying goat meat at the butchershop in the market. After that, the forbidden fowl too.
After passing my matriculation exams, I went to study in the agricultural college in Allahabad. I got a job right after graduating as an instructor in an agricultural training institute in Upper Shillong.
Could anyone stop me now? The farm was right there !
How beautiful and plump were the foreign bred Rhode Island specimens of chickens. My mouth would start watering as soon as I saw them. The surrounding villages were flush with these birds we called rhode islendu. Twice a day its flesh would be cooked in my home. Even for lunch.
Six months went by very happily in this way. Suddenly one day I received a letter from my father. He wrote:
–My son, I hope you are well. Unfortunately, my health has been bothering me for some time. Everyone at the village is advising me to stay with you for a few days. You know very well that I can leave everything except for the naamghor. But even so, for the sake of my health, perhaps I have to take a leave of absence from the naamghor.
I realized I had a serious problem on my hands. It would be difficult to refuse my father if he wanted to visit. But not refusing would also be difficult. We did not eat the same food. How would we stay in the same house? I thought for a long time and wrote him back.
– Deuta, I am delighted to hear that you wish to visit me. I should have invited you long ago. I haven’t been able to do so for two reasons. First, my peon is Manipuri. He cooks all my meals. The second reason is that although the official quarter I live in is large enough, the kitchen is shared with the superintendent’s. He is Khasi. He doesn’t follow any rules regarding food–like we do. I manage somehow, but I am worried that you will find it very difficult.
My ingenuity did not work. Deuta wrote:
–My dear son! I am very happy that you have shared everything with me frankly. I know that some rules and traditions are broken when one travels to a foreign land. But God has left me no option except to travel. I can’t let you know right now when I can go. Nabin, who is a clerk in Shillong, is visiting the village. I am thinking of traveling with him next week. He says that he can put me on a bus to Upper Shillong. So don’t worry about me.
I understood that Deuta was resolute on coming. We had to be ready. I summoned my peon, Airam Singh, to explain the situation. He listened carefully and exclaimed, “Sir, there is no need for you to worry! I can definitely manage. After all, I am a Vaishnavite myself.”
From the next day onwards preparations for my father’s visit began at home. Airam Singh cleaned the kitchen and purified it. Forbidden meats were no longer cooked there. When he entered the kitchen, he first bathed and smeared his forehead with sandalwood.
A week passed in this way. However, my father did not appear. I became restless at being unusually and abruptly deprived of meat.
He should have been here already if he wanted to come. Why would he place me instead in this unbearable state of misery and torture me this way?
Three more weeks went by. No sign of my father. I became very angry and summoned Airam.
–Airam! Deuta is certainly not coming. Even if he does, how much longer can we be so miserable? Take this cash, you have to arrange for one today however you need to.
Airam became serious and said,
–Sir, there is an issue with that. Suppose he shows up tonight–won’t it be dangerous? I would recommend a different plan. You can sometimes find wildfowl near Shillong Peak in the evening. I think you should go that way with the Superintendent’s gun. If you encounter a bird or an animal, it will all be well and good. I can easily cook it for you. After all, our shastras do not forbid us from eating wild things.
I marvelled at Airam’s ingenuity. So with an incredible hope in my heart, I set out towards Shillong Peak, gun in hand. However, the futile expedition yielded nothing but wasted effort. I climbed up the steep hill, slipped and fell a few times, and hurt my knees. As the evening darkened, I came back home and flung away my gun, bullets, and gumboots near the bed and shouted out to Airam.
–Airam, I won’t listen to you any more today. Even if the earth falls down into hell, you have to cook one for me.
Airam looked at my exhausted face, and said–
–Sure, sir. I will go out and capture one, butcher it at the chowkidaar’s house, and bring it out ready for you.
I felt happiness wash over me like I hadn’t experienced in quite some time. I had a cup of tea and went over to visit Mr Bhuyan, the farm manager, at his house. That’s where we play cards and have an adda in the evenings.
So there I was, playing cards. It was about 8 pm. Just then the school’s chowkidaar burst in through the doors with news–
–Sir! Your father is here.
My heart skipped a beat. Was Airam able to handle the situation? What would happen if he was caught?
I dashed home with these anxious thoughts swirling around in my head. I saw that Deuta was sitting on my bed in a contented state. He was holding a cup of tea in his hands. I greeted him and excused myself to see Airam in the kitchen.
– So, how are we doing?
He replied,
–Sir, we are safe! But barely. Deuta walked in as I was washing the meat in the sink and he questioned me–
–Do you know where my son is?
I recognized him and responded immediately–
–Sahab came back from hunting just now and went out for a little bit. But Deuta saw the meat in my hands and said–
–Oh, so this is the meat he hunted?
I quickly blurted out–
–Yes, Sahab went out to hunt today and brought back two haitha birds that he gunned down. This is their meat.
When Deuta walked into the house he must have seen the gun and bullets by your bed so probably that’s why he did not say anything more.
Relieved, I went back to Deuta and enquired about everyone in the family. Gradually I brought up the matter of hunting too. Deuta told me that a long time ago when he was a young man he had gone along with someone and captured a couple of haithas using nets. He hadn’t done anything like that since nor had he consumed anything like that. Even though the shastras do not forbid eating wild birds, as far as possible we should not kill living things.
In this way we overcame the first blow. And I began to worry next about the meal that was coming up– what would happen during dinnertime? How do I let him eat alone, especially since he was visiting me after a long time? But if we do eat together, how would I eat all that meat on my own? On the other hand, Deuta himself had said that he had once eaten haitha in the past and that the shastras don’t forbid it.
Still undecided, I sat down to eat with my father. Airam in his usual manner, began to serve us the dishes he had prepared one by one. In one stroke, he put a bowl of meat next to my plate. Seeing the thick layer of oil floating on it, Deuta asked me,
–Is that the haitha meat then?
I responded meekly–
–Yes. I suppose you don’t want to try?
Deuta looked at the meat for a long second and said–
–I don’t see a problem with trying it. But will my teeth be strong enough to chew it? Since the Almighty arranged to place it before me on the day I arrived, perhaps I should try a couple of pieces.
Airam brought him a couple of pieces to try. And then a couple more pieces. After that a little more gravy. Soon Deuta finished an entire bowl of meat. His teeth seemed fine. He chewed on the bones and sucked in the marrow. His eyes and face glowed with a deep sense of enjoyment. I did not have the courage to look too long in his direction. A scene straight from hell seemed to be swirling before me.
Soon it had been almost a month since Deuta’s arrival. I could not look him in the eyes directly after that incident on the very first day of his visit. I could not talk to him properly either. Airam took him around to see the school, farm, and other neighboring places. Likewise, he took care of his meals too.
As the days passed, Deuta’s health improved. His cheeks filled out and he got some colour back in his face. Day and night he would recite naam and teach us about religion too.
Another week passed in this fashion. Since Deuta did not utter a word about leaving, I asked Airam one day–
–Airam, has Deuta mentioned anything about leaving?
He responded–
–Sir, he brings it up everyday. But I don’t think he actually wants to leave. I feel that he is looking for an opportunity to say something.
–Can you find out what that might be?
The very next day Airam came to me and said quietly–
–Sir, I have found out. I took Deuta on a trip to Nongkrem yesterday. I told him, look Deuta, I have shown you almost all that there is to see. I have fed you everything that’s there to eat around here. Please, tell me, is there anything else you wish to do?
Deuta took this opportunity to say gently–
–Airam, yes, you have taken very good care of me. I don’t wish for anything else. But I have not been able to forget the taste of the haitha meat that you prepared on the day I arrived. I am thinking of leaving next Sunday. Please ask my son if it may be possible to go hunting before then.
–Well, what did you say?
–I said, Deuta, don’t worry at all about that. Why tell Sahab when I can arrange it tomorrow itself?
–How will you arrange it?
–It’s very simple, sir. Deuta is going to see the sights in Shillong tomorrow with the chowkidaar and will not return until the evening. Meanwhile, the stuff is right at hand. All I need to do is cook it. Just like last time I will keep the gun near your bed, along with some bullets.
I replied fearfully,
–Be careful, Airam. You are about to embark on a dangerous expedition. If you get caught the results will be horrible for both of us.
Airam laughed–Sir, Airam is not so naive.
Indeed that’s what Airam did the next day. I could tell quite well Deuta was eagerly waiting. So the very next day, he raised a fuss about going home, and said, I cannot fully know what is going on in the naamghor. He was frantic with worry about it.
He showered praises on Airam as he left. He said he had rarely seen such a talented lad and skillful cook like him. He had consumed haitha once before in his life. However, he had not eaten such delicious preparations as what Airam cooked twice during his stay and would never be able to forget them. Surely, it was his special talent.
